Walk A Mile In His Shoes
by Stardreamed
Summary: Kanan and Ezra deal with a strange situation. Shortly after 'Steps Into Shadow', but before 'Holocrons of Fate'.


Ezra awoke to the sound of a voice. His voice. But, it was coming from the direction of the fresher. When he opened his eyes, he saw nothing. Disoriented, he rubbed his eyes and decided he must still be dreaming. He tried to settle again, but the room was cold.

"This can't be real?" The other him said. Ezra turned on his side, away from the approaching nuisance. He marveled for a moment at how weird his brain could make his dreams.

He felt a gentle, cautious hand on his shoulder. In the force, other him felt like Kanan. He opened his eyes again, blinking, but still saw nothing. "This dream keeps getting weirder," he said to himself, noting that his voice wasn't his. It was… Kanan's?

He moved to sit up, but the hand on his shoulder tightened its grip. It wasn't Kanan's hand, but he felt his master's reassuring presence lending him additional strength. "Whoa… Easy. Just take a second. Remember to breathe, Ezra."

In that moment, he realized he was panicking. "Kanan?" He said, as he reached back through the bond he shared with him, seeking comfort. "I can't see."

"I know."

Ezra turned towards Kanan, who's hand never left his shoulder. "Why am I you and you, me?" He asked.

He couldn't see it, but he knew, through the force, that Kanan shrugged. "I have no idea. You would think this should be impossible."

Ezra slowly moved to a sitting position, imagining that he was in a darkened room, as it was less scary that way. He'd been wishing for a while now that it had been him who had been blinded. It was his fault, after all, that they had remained on Malchor. He was the one who trusted Maul. And, it went all so terribly wrong. He deserved this, not Kanan. Truth be told, his master was one of the best things to happen to him. Why didn't he listen before it was too late?

As he realized what he was thinking, Ezra eased away from Kanan's presence in the force. While he was glad Kanan was finally here and taking an active part in his life again, he didn't want to burden him with such heavy thoughts and resolved not to complain about his sudden blindness. He deserved this burden. It shouldn't have happened to Kanan in the first place.

"Ezra, it's going to be okay. We'll figure this out, together."

"That would be a whole lot more reassuring if you weren't saying it with my voice."

"Ain't that the truth, kid."

Ezra smiled. "Well, there's one good thing to come out of this. You can see again."

Kanan shook his head and placed his hand on Ezra's shoulder again. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying being able to see again, but… It's not worth the price. We will fix this, Ezra. I don't know how just yet, but we will."

"Kanan… I know I already said it, but I'm really glad you're back."

"I'll always come back."

"I know."

"You've already changed so much since last I saw you."

"Kanan…"

"I just mean, you're growing up. I didn't think I'd get a chance to get a glimpse of the man you're becoming."

Ezra laughed. "Kanan, given the situation… That's not even funny."

Kanan chuckled. "You know what I mean."

Ezra sighed. "It's okay, you can say it. I screwed up. I shouldn't have opened the Sith holocron."

"Ezra… Does this have anything to do with our current situation?" He said, cautiously.

Ezra took in a deep breath and let it out. He knew Kanan could feel his unease in the force. "I don't think so? Not intentionally, no."

"But, you're afraid you somehow brought this on?"

Ezra nodded. "I've been wishing for a while now that I was the one who was blinded."

"Ezra… this isn't something you could just do by exerting your will. It would take something much more powerful to do that. It's not your fault."

"How many hours has it been, do you think?"

Kanan felt his stomach gurgling. He'd forgotten what it had been like to be a growing teen. "Since we left Chopper Base or since we switched? Either one, I'm not exactly sure, but it's probably sometime in the morning, judging by how hungry I feel."

Ezra cracked a smile. "If you're me, which you are right now… That means nothing. I'm always hungry."

Kanan stood up and checked the cockpit. "We're still on course for Lothal. Hera left us a coded message when we didn't answer. She needs our help on a mission."

"Um… I'd like to, but…"

"No, you're definitely staying with the shuttle or the Ghost."

Ezra sighed. He didn't like the idea of being sidelined, but what could he do? He resolved to work on gaining a better sense of his environment through the force. What if this is permanent? They entered dangerous situations all the time. He needed to be ready to protect his family.

Kanan and Ezra stood in the tall grass between the shuttle and the ghost. The sun was still low in the morning sky and the slight breeze made the pale grass ripple across the open plain.

"I adjusted your lightsaber to your height, though you shouldn't need it." Kanan held it out towards Ezra, who took it, clipped it to his belt, and handed Kanan his. "I don't expect to be long. Keep your comm on in case we need to make a quick getaway. Chopper can take care of piloting the Ghost."

Ezra nodded.

"You good?"

"Yeah, Kanan, I'm good. I'm blind, but I'm not a total invalid."

Kanan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I know. Believe me, I know."

Ezra scratched his chin. "The beard is kinda itchy. Ever consider shaving?"

Kanan smiled. "No. Hera likes it."

"Well, don't want to disappoint Hera…" Ezra smacked his brow with his right hand. "Oh force, this is going to be awkward."

"Yeah…"

"We'll make this right, Kanan. There has to be something going on we're not seeing."

"Right. Well, I'll be back soon." Ezra heard Kanan start the speeder's engine.

As Kanan sped off into the distance towards Capital City, Ezra walked towards some nearby loth-cats he felt in the force. It was time to make some new friends.

Kanan felt guilty leaving his padawan behind, but was excited to see the others once again, particularly Hera, even if it wasn't with his own eyes. He was also enjoying the blue of the open sky and the edge of the horizon. His force 'sight' abilities had been steadily increasing now that he was not deliberately closing himself off from the force, but it was still very different than this. It was more having another sense pick up the slack for a missing sense than an actual replacement. Force sight was not sight.

For months, Kanan had wondered how his new scaring looked. Well, now he knew. It wasn't as awful-looking as he'd imagined, but it had still brought tears to his eyes when he'd encountered Ezra that morning, though he hadn't given himself time to dwell on it. His eyes were a milky white. Hera had been the one to tell him, and that it was due to the formation of scar tissue in the normally clear tissues of the eye, but it was another thing to see it and know. In a way, it was a bit of a relief, knowing, as nothing was left to the imagination anymore.

As annoying and unfathomable this situation was, Kanan had to admit that the temporary reprieve from being blind was amazing. But, for as long as it could continue, would be a real damper on his love life, or whatever they were calling it these days. He knew Hera loved him, as much as she didn't want to admit it with words. He didn't doubt it. He could feel it in the force. He wasn't going to push for more than she was willing to give. It was enough. At least for now, she wouldn't have to worry at all about it getting in the way of the mission.

Kanan wasn't sure what would happen in a fight, not being used to his padawan's body. Ezra had grown significantly in the past few months, but it had been a long time since Kanan had been a teen. He had managed to do a few katas, but little else. There hadn't been any time to get in some sparing, and even if there had been, Ezra really wasn't up for it. He would just have to make do and hope he doesn't fall on his face.

Once he entered the city limits, he activated Ezra's wrist comm. "Spectre One to Spectre Two, do you copy?"

Hera responded, "Uh, you don't sound like Spectre One, Spectre Six?"

"Right, ah, you got me. Spectre One had to stay behind."

"Is everything all right, Spectre Six?"

"Ah, no, Spectre Two, but neither of us are in any immediate danger now. It can wait."

"We're getting ready to move into position. Do you know where to meet me?"

"I'm on my way there Spectre Two. Spectre One out."

"Spectre Five to Spectre Six, do you need a med check?" Kanan noted the hint of concern in Sabine's voice.

"I'm fine, Spectre Five. Don't worry about me. Spectre Six out."

Kanan arrived a block away from the meeting point and parked his speeder bike. He could sense Hera's presence in the force. He then walked on foot towards her direction, careful not to draw any suspicion, before joining her behind the stack of empty crates.

"Where's Kanan?"

"It's.. Uh… Complicated." Kanan ducked his head and rubbed his neck with his left hand. He didn't meet Hera's eyes, much as he wanted to. He knew the situation was too strange for Hera to believe right away, but he disliked lying to her. "Kanan needs to stay with the ship for the moment. I'll explain later, when we're out of here."

"Ezra…" Hera gently lifted his jaw by the chin with her fingers, lifting his gaze to meet her own. "What happened to Kanan?"

"He's fine." Kanan smiled as he gazed upon Hera's features. It's what he'd been yearning to do for months. He reveled in the simple joy of it. "Kanan is better than fine. Really."

Hera shook her head. She found the smitten look Ezra was giving her disconcerting. It was a look she'd more expect from Kanan, back when he'd had functioning eyes.

"Ezra… Are you okay?"

Kanan sighed and looked away again. He didn't like worrying her. "Hera… There's something you should know."

"What?"

"I'm not… I'm not Ezra." Kanan drew in a deep breath and let it out, then ran his fingers though his hair. "I'm Kanan." He raised one hand. "I know… I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Ezra had to stay with the ship because he's me right now and he's not used to being blind."

"What?" Hera put her hands on her hips. "Ezra, now's not the time to be playing around. Not while we're on an opp."

Kanan sighed audibly and turned away. "Let's table this discussion for later. Just trust me that there's a weird force-thing going on right now." He drew his saber and moved into position.

"Isn't that...?" Hera paused, taking in the body language of the person before her. Why would Ezra want to carry Kanan's lightsaber when he has his own? Then again, he had for a while, just after Malachor, with his lightsaber having broken and Kanan in no shape to fight. "When we get back, you need a med check. That's an order."

Kanan didn't bother to disagree. He simply nodded. "Anything you want, Hera. The one good thing to come out of this fiasco… It is really good to see you again." Kanan turned, gauging what lay ahead in the street. "I'll pull. You shoot."

Hera moved behind Kanan. He began pulling the nearby stormtroopers with the force and Hera took each of them down.


End file.
